It has been an year Nana since you last held my hand to cut my birthday cake. You were still around, not fully conscious but there for us, trying hard to not let anyone down... but then on 17th June 2017, I took my first breath on this earth without you. I don't remember my first birthday but I can see the photos and match the enthusiasm you would have had. In my polka dot frock and tightly tied hair by my grand-ma I was so happy to have everyone around. The stories told by mummy(grand-ma) and you allows me to visualize my childhood. I am glad that I don't belong to the age of videos and I still remember my childhood as fresh as yesterday's tale. I know how you would have emotionally requested my mom & dad to let me stay with you, I know how I would have happily spent my days, I know how I used to throw tantrums and I know how gently I was handled, I know how all of you rejoiced my stay every single day and I know how I was raised as a princess of the king. I can see myself calling my mom by her name, I can see scolding her for teasing me, I can see mummy(grand-ma) singing for me, I can see my uncles pampering me for the whole day, I can see me feeling restless on some days, I can see you soothing me and laughing with me, I can see myself going to the school for the first time, I can see all of me with all of you and mummy(grand-ma). And then I go to the times where I remember my first lesson as a grown up to never give up, I remember you correcting my English, specially the use of "did" in a sentence, I remember you encouraging me to go for walks, I remember you teaching me the right speed to march with my hands and legs for better blood circulation, I remember you giving articles from newspaper to understand and write on my own, I remember you playing badminton with me, I remember you lifting me up on your shoulders with joy, I remember you encouraging me for my intelligence, I remember you for pointing out the lack of determination in me, I remember you grooming me, I remember you loving me... And further I smile looking at us watching cricket and listening to commentary over the radio, I smile looking at us writing essays together, I smile looking at us making paper boats and playing in the rain, I smile looking at your happiness with every small or big achievement of mine, I smile thinking of the time when you taught me to stand every time I hear national anthem, I smile for the time when you refused to sign my fake leave application, I smile for having you in my life... And the best part of all these memories is that each moment stays forever as fresh as new as pure.
You were there during those sleepless night when I was not well, you were there when the last school bell rang, you were there with tears in your eyes when I took the decision to move ahead for studies, you were there when I wanted to convey my psychology to my parents, you were there for my each step at school, you were there when I made my place in extra-curricular activity in college, you were there when I was crying, you were there when I was giggling... You were just there... Always there.
You are such an inspiration... Your struggle in life and then to shine so bright has always pushed me through rough patches... Your journey from being a teacher to Sr ADM... Your brilliant writing skills... Your British English and the story behind... Your effort to keep the family intact... I try to follow all that I know about you... From your hard work to your yoga style... From your honesty to your liberty... From your gardening skills to your love for food... Every single thing in you had something to learn from... And we are proud to protect everything about you not only for us but for generations to come...
There has been not a single day since you left us that I have not spoken to you.. I know your moral support is always there... I am blessed to preserve the letter written by you during my college day... I know you are still smiling at my success and guiding me on my failure... but I miss hugging you Nana... I miss sitting next to you in the verandah... I miss listening your childhood stories... I miss you teasing me... I miss the tap on my head... I miss your way of holding my hand and trying to explain tough phases... I miss discussing Ganguly and Sachin... I miss listening to Atal Bihari Vajpayee with you... I miss your funny dreams... I miss you scolding me... I miss your innocence... I miss your response to my talks... I miss your laughter Nana... I miss the sound you made from your tongue and teeth... I miss you Nana... I miss you !!!
